Decorating the nursery

We have Hudson's room all ready for him

Christmas is here

Yay for Christmas and much needed time off of work. I'm so grateful for the time we will get to spend with family and friends. At our Sunday school Christmas party we went around the room saying what was our most memorable moment in 2010. My darling Husband was so sweet to share how grateful he was because he is about to become a father and it made us both cry. What a year 2010 has been and how amazing that we've gotten to experience first hand God working miracles!

I finally got that nesting rush everyone talks about and I started to decorate Hudson's room. Here are some pictures.

Here's a cute elephant hanger for our future Bama fan


These are some cute animals people have given as gifts. The bunny has Hudson's name on his ear.


I tried to get artistic and made a painting for my baby boy.


Starting to decorate his book shelf


Cute initial for the wall

Getting ready for Hudson

I finally picked out Husdon's bedding, I can't believe how stressful that was. There was a lot of cute crib bedding that I loved, but they were all too girly. I was going to get one custom made from fabric that I picked out, but it was going to be too pricey. Sorry Hudson Mommy and Daddy love you bunches, but I doubt you'll notice your baby bedding, so we just went with something pre made even though you are totally a designer baby! Hudson's Grandma ordered it for him and I was so excited because when I got home today I had a surprise on my door step. Here's his cute new bedding and mobile I just put together, now I just need to decorate the room.



I also bought Hudson his coming home outfit, of course it had to be Bama!



This is my Thanksgiving break and praise God I get the week off! Tim helped me pull up all the Christmas decorations and we got the house all ready for Christmas time! I love turning on all the lights at night time and cuddling up with Tim on the couch as he has his hand on my belly feeling Hudson kick. He has been moving like crazy especially in the night. He'll wake me up with his kicks and I just lay in bed smiling, I absolutely love feeling him kick. I'll even wake Tim up to put his hand on my belly. Here are a couple pictures of our Christmas decor.

Kicking Machine

Tim got to feel Hudson move!! After I felt him for the first time on Tuesday I hadn't felt much movement since then and every time I did feel a kick I'd tell Tim to put his hand on my belly but it would be too late. Saturday was the first time Tim felt a kick. He had his hand on my belly and we looked at each other and at the same time I was saying did you feel that he was saying I felt a kick, it was really cute. Then, Sunday Hudson was a moving machine! Tim got to feel a lot of real big kicks, it was so amazing. I felt him moving around a bit today as well and I cant wait for Tim to get home so we can sit on the couch and feel for our baby.

Here's some pictures of Tim and I dressed up for our neighbor's Halloween party. I had to pick up some last minutes costumes for us on Saturday. I was a Bumble Bee (the only costume I could fit into) and I could have been real cruel and gotten Tim a matching Bumble Bee outfit, but instead I picked out this fishing outfit.

Scary Baby

I had an ultra sound at the specialist's yesterday. I love going to that doctor because they have a really clear ultra sound and they zoom in and measure all of Hudson's parts, but they dont ever print out many pictures to give me. They said every thing looks great and I don't have to come back for two months. Hudson is already a pound! So that explains one pound of the many, many, MANY pounds I have gained so far ;)
The most exciting thing that happened to me yesterday was that I felt Hudson move for the first time! Like really move! Not just the small gas bubble or butterfly feeling, I could actually feel him kick with my hands on my belly. Poor Timbo was outta town so he missed it. I hope Hudson moves again real soon cause that was the coolest feeling.
Here's a picture the specialist took. Silly Hudson was trying to scare mommy and put on his Halloween mask.



This is a profile of my sweet boy, looking back to normal.

We had an ultra sound on Friday and we have another with the specialist on Tuesday. I feel so blessed to get to see Hudson soooo much! We got a great shot of his pee pee so no doubt our baby boy IS a boy :) Tim and I were so excited that we went to Target to register this weekend. It was very overwhelming because I realized I had no idea what we needed or what to get. I asked Tim what kind of breast pump I should get and his reply was "just register for the most expensive one cause it's gotta be the best" I think I'll be calling up my girlfriends who had babies to get some much needed advice.
I have some exciting news to share, I have a niece! My brother Lewis and his wife Shannon welcomed Lucy into the world October 1st. She was was born almost 9 weeks early and is still in NICU, so please be lifting her up in prayer. She's doing really good and getting stronger each day and I pray she will be be able to get home to her mommy and daddy soon I know they cant wait to take her home.
This is Hudsons bottom on the right side and his two legs sticking out. You can see his boy parts in between.

Tim and I at 21 Weeks

Tim and I at 19 weeks

17 Weeks

Baby Hudson is 17 weeks old and we had an appointment with the specialist yesterday and it went really well. He was squirming around, yawning and sucking his thumb, so cute! Hudson weighed 7.2 oz which is big for his age because I think at 17 weeks the average weight is 5 oz. They did an anatomy scan and measured all of his parts which was really cool to watch them zoom in on his organs, brain, bones and precious feet. I wish I could have ultra sounds every day! We got to see his pee pee again (Tim saw it for the first time) but they say they don't confirm anything until 20 weeks, but I don't think his pee pee is going anywhere.
People have been asking me if I have any cravings and the truth is no, but I do want to eat whatever I see. For instance, this morning I looked in our fridge to pack my lunch and grab breakfast and I saw the left over sauerkraut I made on Saturday, so for breakfast I had a bowl of sauerkraut. I wasn't craving it, I just saw it, it looked good and I ate it. Because I eat what ever I see I've been having some fun combinations of food like pickles dipped in hummus, or hot sauce on sweet potato's or basically hot sauce on anything imaginable. Eating has been very fun, I really lucked out and haven't been nauseous at all. I feel like I have my energy back and I can work out again, so I've been doing great!
Here are a couple of the latest pictures of Hudson:

I know it's very early, but I swear he has Tim's nose!




Hudson doing a fist pump!

Belly Pics

So people have been asking to see how big the belly is and I broke down and took a picture. At first I was like I don't wanna be one of those mom's who takes pictures of her belly every week, but it is pretty cool to see it growing. We have a doctor's appointment tomorrow just to hear the heart beat and then the specialist on Tuesday to take all of Hudson's measurements. It's been so long since I've gotten to see my lil man and I'm really looking forward to it!

Labor day = Get to work!!

I know we are probably jumping the gun in wanting to get Hudson's room ready, but I'm so excited I don't wanna wait! Friday we made a trip to Home Depot to get all our supplies (had to get those Labor Day sales) and Saturday we got to work putting up the bead board. Sunday we got the chair rail up and this was very fun cause Tim nor I had ever done that before. Good thing we bought extra wood for all the short boards we cut and mis-measured angles :) Today I get to sit back and relax and let Tim take over. He gets to paint the bead board and the wall and I can't be near the paint smell with this lil bun in my oven so I got outta working. Here's the work in progress, can't wait for the finished product!

Sex Please

I had a doctors appointment with a specialist yesterday. Tim asked me over and over if he should come (he hasn't missed an appointment yet) but I assumed the doctors were just going to go over my medical history and tell me which meds to stay on and which to go off. I told Tim to not go cause I thought the appointment was just going to be a consultation. I felt horrible when I got there cause the first thing the doctor wanted to do was an ultra sound. I'm so spoiled getting so see my lil baby so much!
The doctor wanted to measure my ovaries and the cysts that were in them so they needed to do an ultra sound. I figured since they were already looking why not take a peek at my baby. Well, baby Greene was in the perfect position butt up legs spread to tell the gender. The nurse looked at me and said do you see what I see and I was so excited I shouted, "it's a PEE PEE!!" Now of course she told me that they can't confirm this early what the sex is, but it would surprise her if it wasn't a little boy.
The car ride back to work I had the Fish on and I was singing praise songs to my sweet Lord for blessing me with a boy. I was so excited, but I felt so bad that Tim wasn't there, so I wanted to do something special to tell him he was having a son. When I got home I baked cookies in the shape of footballs, drew laces on them and put them out on our kitchen island. I made a card for him and set it next to the cookies. When Tim got home he smelt the cookies right away and was happy just to have sweets. He said "oh, you made footballs cause its football season." Then I told him to open his card and in it I had the ultra sound picture and I wrote meet your son Hudson Timothy Greene!!! Tim couldn't wipe the smile off his face and we were both so giggly and excited.
Here is a profile picture of our baby boy Hudson Greene

Our lil Greene bean ;)

Today we had our ultra sound appointment and I am 12 weeks and 2 days along. How amazing to see our lil baby and hear its lil heart beat. He was looking very healthy, moving, kicking and squirming around like crazy! Its heart beat was at 168, very strong. I'm just in awe that a life is growing inside of me. During the week I go about my days and just feel fat most of the time and getting to see my baby puts things in perspective. The baby looked so much bigger in just three weeks time. It looks just like a baby now, with elbows and knees, fingers and toes, so precious! Now that I am past 12 weeks I can stop taking the progesterone shots!! What a blessing to have a healthy baby, but I'm even more excited to know I don't have to stick a needle in my butt every night!
Im so excited to start getting the nursery ready. My colors are brown and blue because that will work for a boy or a girl. I have such a strong feeling it's a lil boy and I swear I saw a lil pee pee at the ultra sound today ;)
Thanks again for keeping Tim, me and the baby in your prayers. God's listening and blessing our baby growing in me!



Hard to get a clear picture cause he was moving around so much


Baby Greene! Funny to see its big ol' head, its the same size as his body ;)


You can see the precious hands in this picture

9 weeks (2 weeks ago)

Tim and I got to go to a regular OB/GYN a couple weeks ago for our 9th week ultra sound. I really love our new doctor and am excited to not have to drive all the way to Atlanta any more for ultra sounds. The baby looked great, very healthy and we even saw him nod his head up and down and kick his lil nub feet. The doctor wants me to see a specialist because I still have fluid pockets and my ovaries have a lot of cysts in them. I guess they will be able to determine better if i need to stay on my shots or get on new medication.
Our next appointment is at the end of the month. We got so spoiled being able to have an ultra sound every week at Emory and now having to wait three weeks in between seem like torture!
Thanks to everyone for your support and sweet cards when we found out about baby b. Im feeling a lot better now physically and emotionally :)
Here's our lil Baby at 9 Weeks

Cant have a testimony with out some tests

We had our ultra sound appointment last Friday and I was 8 weeks and 2 days along. I had been feeling so positive about the ultra sound and just knew we were going to hear two strong heart beats. The nurse said she'd measure baby A first. I cant see the monitor while the nurse is doing the ultra sound, so I usually just watch Tim's facial expressions to figure out whats going on. He had a big smile on his face right away and it was so reassuring to me. We got to hear the heart beat and it was amazing how much change can occur in a week, the hear beat was so loud and clear and fast! Baby A was measuring 8 weeks 1 day and had a heart beat of 167.
Then the nurse said she was going to measure my ovaries next to see if I was getting proper blood flow to the babies. I thought it was unusual for her to do that and not just go over to measure the other baby next. She said everything looked normal and it seemed like there was enough blood flow, so that made me feel better. Then she said she would measure baby B. She was quite and I kept waiting listening for when she would play the heart beat. Then I looked to Tim's face for a reaction. Tim didn't have a smile on his face like he did when he was looking at the first baby.
The nurse turned the monitor over to me so I could look along with them. Baby B had shrunk and was measuring 5 weeks and there was no sign of a flicker for a heart beat. We has lost our sweet lil baby B. I wanted to start bawling right there on the table, but the nurse tried to refocus me on the positive right away by showing me baby A and how big and healthy it looked. I just wanted to get off that table as fast as I could.
The doctor came and talked to us and said the blood clot probably took the blood away from baby B, but it didn't seem to be effecting our other baby. Baby A has a blood hemorrhage next to it, but he told me this was common and shouldn't harm the baby. The doctors took me off my blood thinner shots because they thought that it might be causing the clot to bleed more, but they still want me on the progesterone shot (the one Tim gives me in my booty) till I reach 12 weeks. Then the doctor said at 8 weeks they release you to your regular Ob/Gyn, so this would be my last visit at Emory.
It was a very hard weekend for me. I felt so weird grieving over losing my baby when I wanted to be grateful that I still had a baby in me. I couldn't believe how fast and how strong of a connection I could develop with my lil babies, they are my babies and I just lost one so I let myself cry and be sad.
Moving forward, I am going to focus on the positive and the life I still have growing in me. I am still bleeding, but the doctors think its because baby A is pressing against the hemorrhage and making it bleed. Its hard to not be worried or concerned when your body is doing things that don't seem normal, but I'm giving over my control and trusting God with this journey. Thanks again so much for keeping me and Tim in your prayers it really helps me stay joyful and positive through the tough times.

Last Friday's Ultra Sound

I realized I forgot to update our blog after our ultra sound last Friday. Baby A is doing wonderful, that lil suckers heart beat was up to 140 which was a huge improvement from 83 the week before. It is also growing very well measuring about 6 weeks 5 days (at that point I was 7 weeks 2 days into my pregnancy) Baby B is my lil runt and is trying to give me a scare. They had a very hard time getting a clear picture because baby B is further back so it's harder for the ultra sound waves to travel that far and pick up a clear image when the baby is just the size of a blueberry. They were not able to hear its heart beat, but they said to not be too worried because its still very early in my pregnancy. Baby B is growing slower and is measuring 6 weeks 1 day.
I have my next ultra sound this Friday and I'm praying that the ultra sound will be more clear this time and that they will hear Baby B's heart beat. I've been feeling a lot better and getting my energy back. I hope when I go this Friday the doctor's will say my blood clot is gone because I've only been spotting this week so I'm hoping that's all cleared up.
Today I am 8 weeks pregnant! My babyies are the size of rasberries, yummy! I know a lot of women would just be finding out at 8 weeks that they are pregnant so 8 weeks wouldn't seem that far along, but it seems like I've been pregnant for ever already :) Through the ups and downs I'm loving the journey I've been on and am so excited to see the lil babies grow......along with my belly, butt, hips and thighs. Growing two babies sure does make me hungry!!

Very encouraged by this devotional "Let God Solve it"

But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord's victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out there tomorrow, for the Lord is with you! 2 Chronicles 20:17 (NLT)

"You can relax in faith, trusting that God is able to run things without your help."

What God tells Jehoshaphat in this passage, and what he would remind us today, is this: "The battle is not yours; it's mine. You don't have to fight in it."

In other words, it's God's problem. Let him solve it.

The fact is if you are God's child, then your problems are his problems. And he's much better at fighting your battles and solving your problems than you will ever be. Your job is to trust him to work it all out. Perhaps the reason we have so many tired, fatigued, and discouraged Christians is because we think, "It all depends on me."

The day you resign as General Manager of the Universe, you're going to find that it doesn't fall apart. You can relax in faith, trusting that God is able to run things without your help.

Twice in this passage it says, "Don't be afraid," and "Don't be discouraged." When you face a seemingly impossible situation, don't be afraid and don't be discouraged. Has God ever lost a battle? No. He doesn't lose battles.

God tells Jehoshaphat, "Take your positions and stand firm." What does it mean to stand firm? It means to have a mental attitude of quiet confidence.

You stand firm on two things:

The character of God - He's faithful. He does not bring us this far just to let us down. He doesn't bring you out on a limb and then cut off the limb. Have faith in the nature and character of God.
The truth of his Word - God's Word is faithful. You can count on the promises found in the Bible.

Past Weeks Events

I was hesitant to share what's been going on this past week, but since I've been so open about everything else in this process and have some amazing prayer warriors out there reading this blog I thought it would be good to tell you whats been happening.
Last Thursday was suppose to be our first ultra sound where we would see how many babies took and hopefully see a heart beat. On Tuesday I woke up with bad cramps and when I got to work I started bleeding, not spotting, bleeding. I panicked and called my nurse who was on vacation and my doctor was not there either. I had to leave a message with an on call doctor to get back to me. I guess the mother instinct comes early cause there was no way I was going to wait around for them to call back. I got in my car and headed toward Emory. Tim called the reproductive center to let them know I was on my way.
I had an ultra sound done and it took a while because they said they had a lot to measure and wanted to see what was going on. Since I was just 5 weeks and 5 days it was very early to get a clear picture what was going on and why I was bleeding. They did see two lil yolk sacs and in one of them they saw a lil baby with a flicker (that's the heart beat) and they called that one baby A. The other sac baby B was further away so they couldn't see much going on with that one. The Doctor didnt give me much of an answer, but just told me to be patient and let my body run its course and call if things got worse and they scheduled my next ultra sound for the following Wednesday.
The bleeding didn't stop and I needed some reassurance that the babies were both still there, so we called and got another ultra sound for Friday. At Friday's ultra sound they could see a bit clearer. The reason for my bleeding is I have a blood clot in my placenta. The doctor said my body is either trying to miscarry one or both babies or it might just clear up and not harm either babies. The biggest relief is I got to see both babies were still there!! We even got to hear their heart beats and they were only 6 weeks and 2 days old. Their heart beat were weak, baby A 83 and baby B 73 but it might just be because of their age and not the blood clot.
Our next ultra sound is next Friday which seems like an eternity away to check on my lil babies. I can't believe how attached I've become to these lil babies in me. Now that I've seen both of them I want them both so bad! There is nothing I can do for the blood clot. I just have to wait and see what happens and be on bed rest as much as possible. Please pray for their health and that their lil heart beats will grow stronger and that my blood clot will clear up and not effect the health of my babies. We were so excited when we found out that we were pregnant, but to now find out we have twins is more than a double blessing!! Here's some pictures of our lil sweat peas, literally they are the size of peas ;)

Baby A


Baby B


Twins!

Change of date

Ultra sound is moved to next Wednesday

Feeling Lighter

Its been over a week since I left the hospital and I'm happy to report that I'm doing a lot better. I've lost most of the fluid and only have about 8 pounds to go. All the fluid is in my belly, so it still looks like I'm 5 months pregnant. I'm getting my energy back and was even able to go to the gym over the weekend and do a couple of light work outs.
The positive thing about having all this happen is that its made time fly by! I can't believe its already time for our first sonogram! We go Thursday to see our lil baby or babies! I'm so excited because it will make the pregnancy seem real. For the past couple weeks I've just felt like I was sick or that something was wrong, but Thursday when I get to see what's going on inside of me it will settle my mind and I can feel like I am really pregnant! Tim doesn't have a hard time believing we're pregnant, he talks to my belly every day :) So grateful to be over the lil hill we faced and grateful to be moving forward.

Prayers for Healing and Praise!

Man that picture was just taken a couple days ago and I only wish I looked like that now :( I've gained a total of 25 pounds of fluid in less than a week and when my belly couldn't expand anymore it spread to my sides and back, butt, thighs, legs, and even my choochie! Thats right people, not a pretty sight. I got drained again on Wednesday another 3 liters, but unfortunately it doesn't make a difference looks wise. The draining did relieve a lot of pressure from my chest and lungs so I can breath better, but the fluid just comes back and moves to different areas.
This not only is very painful for me physically, but mentally as well. I was exhausted from being cooped up in the hospital and had a lil mental break down and started crying.... right as my doctor walked in! He asked if I needed a social worker ;) I'm like no I'd just really like my skin to stop feeling like its about to rip!
There is no cure for OHSS, I just have to give it time to flush out of my body. The good thing is I am peeing a lot more which means my body is trying to get rid of the fluid. It's a slow process and could take two weeks to a month to clear up. The doctor released me to go home (even though I look so much worse than when I came in on Sunday)and told me to drink TONS of fluid, eat a lot of protein and have a lot of salt and If I have trouble breathing come back in to get drained, but until then give it time. Not the answer or cure I wanted. I wish there was a faster way for this to go away.
Here's some pictures of the draining process, and yes I snuck my iphone into the room!
My stomach getting drained

The tube that sucks the fluid up into the vacuum

Being drained

The fluid from my belly

My calf boots to prevent blood clots


and despite how horrible my body feels I have a reason to be overfilled with joy.......... IM PREGNANT!!! That's right the doctor went ahead and did a blood test while I was there and we are definitely preggers!

LITERS

Here's my fluid filled belly, looks like im 5 months preggo! It really is sooo much bigger in person than in this picture too! Sad to say that this picture makes me look skinny compared to what I look like in person! And dont you love all the bruises on my belly :)


Yesterday the doctor decided to go ahead and send me down to the radiologist to get drained. They wanted to wait for me to make a turn for the better before they did the procedure, but it was getting so bad they went ahead and did it. Not a fun procedure, they use an ultra sound to find where they can insert a large thick needle into a fluid pocket in my abdomen. Once they do that they put a catheter (like a straw) into the whole and attach it to a vacuum like machine and it sucks the fluid out. They did use a needle with local anesthesia to numb the skin (that needle hurt so bad) but it doesn't numb completely because they go so deep into you that I could definitely feel when they broke through the fluid pocket.
Having the procedure was worth all the pain because they drained out 3 & 1/2 LITERS, yes people LITERS of fluid! All that fluid was in my belly! It gave me instant relief and pressure off my belly and lungs. It was the color of sweet tea, I wanted to keep it and use it to cook with. Then when I have people over for dinner and they say yum this chicken tastes so good what did you use, I could tell them I marinated it in my own abdominal fluid..... enjoy ;)
The first thing I wanted to do was EAT! I was so hungry that I tore up my plate of nasty hospital food like it was the best thing I've ever had :) I had about 4-5 hours of relief and comfort yesterday, but since they went ahead and did the draining while I was still getting worse the fluid came back.
My doctor came in this morning and measured me and did some blood work and desided I needed to be drained one more time. As much as I hate to have to do the draining again cause it hurt so much, I know it will make me feel so much better. He's waiting for me to start peeing more (a sign that my body will start getting rid of the fluid on its own)then he will schedule another procedure later today.
I really have been able to keep a positive attitude since I've been here (mainly because of the thought of the lil baby in me) but the nurses and doctors have been so sweet to me and taken such good care of me. I just pray this fun lil stay is covered by our insurance!!
Please pray for me to keep a positive joyful attitude and for me to be able to endure the physical pain this is causing me. It can be hard to not let my mind wonder into a pitty party when my body hurts so bad. I know God won't put me through more than I can handle so I know I'll be fine :) Thanks for all the concern and prayer! Love and blessings!

Watermelon Belly

Timbo's mom and dad have a cabin up in Blue Ridge and were so sweet to let Tim and I go up over the weekend for some R&R after the crazy week at the doctors. Unfortunately there wasn't a whole lot of resting and relaxing for me. I started getting very sharp pains in my stomach and I was having a hard time eating because my belly felt so full and bloated. I had a hard time sleeping because when I laid down I wasn't able to breath because the fluid would move up to my diaphragm and push on my lungs. I got up very early Saturday in pain and went to the bathroom and things took a turn for the worse. I was throwing up and blacking out and was so scared that I think I was causing my self to have a panic attack. It was like my body was in so much pain I couldn't function. I yelled to Tim (poor thing was sound asleep) and said "call an ambulance, get me off this mountain I'm dying!" I know I was very dramatic, but I was in freak out mode.
Tim was so calm and handled it very well. He put me on the bed and was helping me calm down by making me take big breaths in and out. Then he gathered up all our stuff and put it in the car and we headed for Emory. Should have been a two and a half hour drive, but I told Tim to step on it and we made it in an hour and a half.
Once at Emory, my doctor did and ultra sound and saw that the fluid was starting to spread to my liver. I had gained another 4 pounds and my blood was very dehydrated because all the fluid from my blood stream was going out to my abdomen. They put me up in a room in the hospital and hooked me up to an IV. My veins were so dehydrated they had to stick me four times before they could get a vein to take. The plan was to keep me over night and get fluid back in my blood stream and drain me in the morning. This morning they weighed me and I gained another 7 pounds, yes over night! So now they are waiting for me to show signs that I'm turning for the better before they drain me because they said if they do it now it will just come back.
I'm just chillin in my room now waiting for the doctors to give me the go ahead. Tim left for work but he brought me the lap top to entertain me. They aren't letting me eat or drink either and all I can think about is eating a Flow's Fila.
Thank God for the positive side of all this. I believe severe OHSS only happens in like 3 to 8% of IVF patients, but the doctor said the only cases he's ever had of women like me all ended up being preggers. That is really helping me deal with the pain :) So I'll just sit here in bed rubbing on my big watermelon belly like I got a baby in there!

Growing bigger!

Spent the day at the doctors again yesterday. I have OHSS and my ovaries are filled with fluid and its spilling out into my abdomen, so I have a very large belly! The good news was my progesterone levels were great. They better be after the torturous shots I've been taking in the butt :) Since I have a genetic disorder that makes me more prone to blood clots and now having OHSS puts me at more risk for a blood clot the doctors wanted to be extra cautious and by putting me on a blood thinner. I should only have to take if for two weeks, thats how long they think it will take for the OHSS to go away and by that time I'll know if I'm pregnant. I think we should just go ahead and proclaim it and thank Jesus for letting me be preggers!! So thank you God for the miracle you've done in me by creating this/these lil baby/ies

Bloated

I spent yesterday at the hospital because my belly is misbehaving. I’m retaining fluid in my ovaries and my belly is HUGE!! No joke, I look like I’m five months pregnant. The doctor said I have a mild case of OHSS and they are keeping me on close watch. They are trying to get my body to flush itself so I won’t have to be drained. Not only do I look like a cow, but I feel like a hot mess; all the pressure on my belly really hurts. I have to drink a lot of Gatorade to flush my body, but when I feel bloated and full the last thing I wanna do is fill up more with liquid. I also have to measure my pee. It’s funny cause I have to pee into this thing that fits on my toilet seat to measure the volume then I pour it in the toilet. I’m also measuring my belly and my weight. I have to log everything and I got to the doctor on Wednesday to see if it got worse and to measure my progesterone levels. I think the bloating is a side effect of the progesterone shots only six more weeks of those, so I guess it will be awhile till I feel normal. This is very difficult for me because I’m used to being healthy and active and it’s just very frustrating for me.

Beautiful embryos!!

I just got home from the transfer. This morning I was very emotional and I cried the entire ride to the hospital. I think it was a mix of nerves and excitement and just a cry out to God to let this work. I have such a desire to be a mother and it's not to fill some kind of void in my life, to make me feel happy or to make me complete and I don't want to have a baby so I feel like I fit in with other people my age. I want to be a Mom because God put that desire in my heart. I want to raise my babies to know Jesus and to be in love with him and grow up to be good and faithful servants.
This process has seemed so surreal and unnatural until today when the doctor came in and told us with a big smile that we had beautiful embryos. Then she showed us a picture of them and it felt like I was looking at my babies!! It was a very emotional experience and it just made it seem so real, it's finally here!
The transfer went really well and they had to do assisted hatching to make sure the embryos stick. The embryologist said the wall on the embryos was very thick so they really recommended that we do the assisted hatching. I figure we've come this far why wouldn't we do everything we needed to do to make this work, even if it did cost more money.
Tim got to put on scrubs and be in the room during the transfer and we got to watch the whole thing on the ultra sound. The doctor said the catheter went in so smoothly and the eggs released perfectly. I felt so at peace during the procedure and I know it was because I truly felt all the prayers of our friends and family! I'm being so sincere when I say thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers! It has really touched me to get all the phone calls, emails, texts, comments and personal visits from people praying for me. I really feel Gods hands all over this and I'm so positive about the outcome. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
Now it's time to nap! Got to be on bed rest for a lil bit, but dont worry Timmy went to get me some movies. He's taking good care of me.

Here are a couple pictures from our big day! This one is of our Beautiful baby embryos.


This one is of the transfer. That is a picture of my uterous and if you look close you can see a white horizontal line, thats the catheter implanting the embryos.



This is Dr Greene in his scrubs



Me waiting to get er done!

Im like a chicken layin some eggs.....

This morning was my egg retrieval at Emory. I'm thankful that I was put to sleep for this procedure so I didn't have to feel anything. They say they give you enough anesthesia to heavily sedate you but you're still alert and can breath on your own and be responsive, but not me I passed out :) So the nurse is with me the whole time telling me to breathe because the medicine makes you so lazy you forget to breathe on your own and she put an oxygen mask on me because I fell asleep. The procedure took about an hour and then it took me another hour to wake up, I guess I was very tired! Tim drove me home and then he had to leave for Kentucky for a business meeting. I miss you already Timbo! I just slept on the couch all day until my parents came over after work to keep me company. Also I had to start taking my progesterone shots tonight and I needed someone to give them to me since Tim wasn't here. My Dad was brave enough to do it. The nurse had given me a "how to video" that I showed my parents so they would know how to give me the shot. Dad took the job very seriously, it was so cute! Here's a video my Mom took, I thought it would be cool to give everyone an inside look of what IVF is like. Oh and a lil side note: please ignore my big belly the retrieval procedure and the shots im taking make me look like im already 6 month pregnant!!Enjoy!

My lil nurse

I have to say Tim makes quite the nurse. Tim even dressed up in a lil nurses outfit to put me at ease ;) The butt shot wasnt so bad, but I do have a high tolerance for pain. It was more of the anticipation of Tim standing behind me about to give me a shot and not being able to see him that scared me. Tomorrow my eggs will be ripe for the pickin and I go in for my retrieval at 8 then Timbo leaves for his meeting in Kentucky. Have to give my hubby props for getting a big new account! Thanks for working so hard to take care of me babe!! Praying for your safe travel!

Ovulate..... Celebrate (sung in the tune of madona's holiday song)

My doctors appointment went really well today! The nurse said so far I have five leads. That means there are 5 follicles that measure over 15mm and the ones that measure over 15mm have an 80% to 90% chance of having an egg. They said there will probably be more by time I do the retrieval which is on Wednesday!! Now to help me ovulate Tim's gotta give it to me in the butt..... a shot that is ;) Tonight at exactly 10 o'clock Timbo's gotta give me my HCG which will make me have the big O...... you have such a dirty mind, Im talking about Ovulation. This shot guarantees ovulation in 48 hours, so thats why my retrieval is scheduled for Wednesday morning. Then I will either have the transfer Friday or Saturday. So excited but a lil nervous too! Can't believe this is our baby making week, praise Jesus!

God answers the simple prayers

I got to start my Saturday off right by going to the doctor :) On my way to Emory I have a lot of time in the car to pray and today I had a lil request for God that seemed silly to ask for. Do you ever think "I shouldn't ask God for this because it's such a silly thing to pray for, I'm sure this isn't important to God?" Well, I think that if there is something that concerns me enough to pray about it then God is even more concerned about it.
When I go to Emory there is usually a different nurse or doctor working every day which means I always get a different person doing my ultra sound. When ever they have a male doctor doing the exam they always have another person in the room. I guess this is to make me feel more comfortable because there is another person there to make sure no monkey business is going on. But when its a female nurse there doesn't have to be another person in the room so that's what I'm always praying for. A couple times I've been, there have been two male doctors in the room to do my crotch pictures. I assure you I don't feel more comfortable having two doctors in the room to take pictures of my ovaries.
This morning on my car ride when I prayed I was like "God, I've been going in to do these ultra sounds every day this week and I need you to help me keep a joyful attitude about it and it would really help if I had a female nurse do my ultra sound today." I kinda felt silly to pray for something like that, but I think God isn't to busy to help with the small things. So grateful to say he answered my prayer ;)

Getting to were I need to be

The nurse just called to give me the results of my doctor’s appointment this morning. Yesterday when she told me my levels were low I didn’t really ask what that meant I just upped my units to 200 on my follistim shot. Well, today when she called to tell me my estradiol level was still low I made sure I knew what she was talking about. I am in day 5 of my stimulation cycle and they are trying to get as many of my follicles as they can to measure 15mm or more. They want to be able to retrieve 8 to 15 eggs on Tuesday to have the best chance of getting the eggs to fertilize. Because I’m not progressing the way I should be they are upping my follistim medication again to 250 units and adding another shot to take at night called Luvaris and I will start taking that shot tomorrow. For those of yous out there following along would you please pray that my body will be where it needs to be next Tuesday for the egg retrieval? I truly appreciate all the prayers!!

Quick like a bunny

All week long it's ultra sounds and blood work for me. Yesterday the nurse called with my numbers. I don't have a clue what they mean, but apparently they were low so they upped my units on my pm shot. I had to go back in this morning for more blood work and an ultra sound. Since I've had to saddle up so many times for these doctors, I found the trick to getting in and out quickly. They tell me to undress from the waste down so I always wear a dress. Slide of my under britches, hike my dress up, put their lil paper towel around my waste, feet in the stir ups, yadda yadda yadda and Im outta there! Quick like a bunny ;)

Hormonal Mess

I’ll start this blog out with good news and then I’ll share with you (not complain just explain) what I’ve been going through. Ok, the good news… Timbo is all healed up from his surgery!! He’s feeling back to normal and even cut our grass on Thursday. Thanks for all your prayers for Tim, they worked and he healed up quickly.
Now, I’ll just take a moment to share what’s going on in my life. Last week I added another shot to my daily medication. This shot looks like a pen and I take it in the evening. The morning shot I take altered my mood a little and I felt some side effects. I thought I was handling the medication well until I started taking the follistim pen. Love the side effects of this one! I wake up in the morning thinking “oh my fart, how much did I drink last night I feel like I got hit by a bus….. wait a minute I didn’t have anything to drink it’s just the lovely side effects of my medicine!” The weekends are rough because I have to still get up at 6:30 to take my morning shot and getting up that early, with a massive head ache, to stick a needle in me doesn’t leave me in the best mood for the rest of the day.
Sunday at church I would love to say I had an amazing spiritual moment and it brought me to tears, but there was nothing spiritual about these tears. I started bawling, like hard core uncontrollable can’t hold back the tears ugly face making crying! I had to get up and go to the bathroom and give myself a pep talk. It feels so weird to cry that hard for no reason and a couple minutes later be completely normal again.
This morning I went in for more blood work, I’m starting to feel like a pen cushion. This week I’ll be going in about every other day for ultra sounds and blood work. The doctor has to keep a close eye on my body now to make sure it’s where it needs to be. We are schedule to do our retrieval next Tuesday!! I really can’t complain about the process I’m going through because it just amazes me that we are able to make a baby this way and it really is flying by. I can’t believe we are eight days away from the retrieval.

Tim's Surgery

Timbo had his surgery on Friday and I'm happy to say they got the goods! The doctor said he got plenty of sperm for us to make lil babies. Poor Tim has been on the couch for the past two days elevating and icing his twig and berries. He's healing quickly and Tim was able to take a shower today and he's moving around good. I'm proud of my hubby for going through a not so fun surgery to start our family and I'm so blessed that Tim is so passionate about starting a family with me!

Get in my Belly!

This morning was the start of my shots! Glad I was running late to work and had to hurry and get it over with, so I didn’t have time to think about it and freak myself out. Timbo played nurse and got my shot ready for me and he even put on a nurses outfit to make me feel more at ease ;) Very thankful for my LaRosa belly I’ve inherited because the tire of belly fat I have around my waste made it easy to pinch a good piece of skin to stick the needle in. Not sure if I’m really feeling the effects already or if I’m just psyching myself out, but I swear I had a hot flash at work!

Not a time to be Modest

Monday I had three more procedures checked off my to do list. I had the sonohysterography, test transfer, and blood work to determine my dosage for shots done. Um, no one warned me how painful that would be! The saline ball fell of the catheter that they stuck up my whoo whoo, so they had to take it out and reinsert it again, worst cramp feeling ever! Then, when I was all done they gave me a large maxi pad to wear in case I leaked, so how am I suppose to stick that on my thong underwear. The doctor said everything looked good and now I can take a break for awhile before I have any more procedures done.
Thank God for watching over us and orchestrating the timing for Tim’s surgery. The doctors first said they couldn’t fit Tim’s surgery in for another two months, but praise God that the urologist worked things around and are able to schedule his procedure in two weeks. That’s kind of important because I can’t do my part without his sea men 
We are so happy with how quickly things are moving. Please be lifting Timbo up in prayer because his surgery is not fun. They have to actually remove tissue from his testicle to get out the sperm. Pray that his boys recover quickly and the doctors will have plenty of sperm to collect. I wonder If God giggles as much as I do when I’m praying for Tim to have lots of sperm ;)

Feels like we're making progress!

This is the first time in my life I have ever been excited to start my period! This was the one time my cycle was late and I needed it to be on time, but my lil friend finally visited me. Now that I started, I get to have more procedures done. Yesterday I went to the doctors to have a sonogram done. Sounds harmless, I’m thinking they will rub something over my belly to check out my lady parts. Not so much, I’ll just say that by the end of this process I will no longer be a modest woman. Everything did check out ok though. Next appointment is Monday for the sonosalpingogram and test transfer run and this Thursday Tim meets with the urologist to schedule when his procedure will be (pray that they can fit him in as soon as possible!) Another big step I made yesterday was paying for a majority of the in vitro, no turning back now!

Orientation

Last Thursday Tim and I had our orientation at Emory. Up untill this point every doctors visit has consisted of blood work and testing, but not to in depth of what the process involved. This doctors visit was a lot different because we had to get into all the "what if's" of the invitro process so our doctor could check off and have us sign that he's explained everything that could possibly happen. Not going to lie it freaked me out a little. Then we had to make a lot of on the spot decisions that we had never thought about or discussed as a couple, for example what would I do with the eggs/sperm if Tim were to die before the procedure. We just looked at each other like "do we get to talk about this for minute", but we had to answer all these types of crazy scenario questions right then and there.
After that part of the orientation was over (and my brain was spinning) we meet with the nurse who taught me how to give myself the shots. I looked like such a buffoon fumbling with the needle and dropping it a couple times. Then my attempt to get out the air bubbles almost made me cry cause my light flicks on the shot were not doing anything to make the bubble float to the top. Some shots we will have to mix with a powder and others I am given a special "pen" that I put together to give to myself. Then two of the shots, which need to be absorbed slower and they have to be inserted into my muscle (which means a very long needle in my butt) are giving to me by Tim. Glad I trust my husband so much! We watched video and got to practice on a fake skin pad. I feel reassured to know that everyday people do invitro all the time and are able to give them selves shots, so I can too. Even though after leaving the doctor I felt like I needed a nursing degree to do this process!!
Next up are a couple of out patient procedures for Tim and I and then I will be starting the medication in a couple weeks. Crazy to think we are in the process of making a baby! Thanks to all for their love and prayers, really means a lot to us! A specific prayer request for me is to be able to give God any fears I have and to give me the discernment to weed out satans lies.

New Doctor

Tim and I had our first consultation with Emory Reproductive Center today. We really liked the doctor we met with and he was much more informative than our doctor at RBA. The doctor mentioned many things that we were'nt told at our appointments with other reproductive doctors, so we are going to go forward with in vitro at Emory. We feel really comfortable with the doctor and they seem to spend a lot more time and attention to us explaining every detail thoroughly.

The first step was blood work, ten viles of blood taken from me this morning and two from Tim. Im suppose to hear back from the doctor today or tomorrow with the lab results. Next step, I have to wait for my period to start so I can have diagnostic lab work and a diagnostic ultra sound done. Then a couple days after my period is over I'll have a sonohysterogram. The doctors will blow up my uterus with saline to check for polyps and they will insert the tube that they will use to perform in vitro to make sure I dont have anything blocking the path of the tube. I've already had a hysterosalpingogram so I dont have to do that procedure done again.

Then Tim will need to go in to have a procedure to extract his sperm. Poor Timbo, they have to cut a peice of tissue from his testicle to get the sperm out and then they will freeze it. I will be put on medication (shots I have to give myself daily) to get my eggs nice and big. During that time I will go in to have blood work done regularly to make sure my follicles are healthy and there's enough of them. Then I will have surgery to remove my eggs. The doctors will fertilize my egss with Tim's sperm and put them back in me about five days later and then we wait to see if we made a baby!

So far we have enough money to cover my part of in vitro and my medication, but Tim's surgery is an extra expense that we are praying our insurance will cover. Thanks again to everyone for lifting us up in prayer!! We are so grateful for your support! Much love and blessings to you!! I can't believe the day if finally here that we can take our first steps towards in vitro!! God is soooooo good!

Hope everyone had a great Easter! We had a great church service followed by Sunday school then off to the parents for lunch. We decorated our lamb cake and colored our eggs. It was a beautiful day, the weather couldn't have been better!

Thanks!!

Tim and I want to thank everyone from the bottom of our hearts for your amazing support. Thanks for caring about us SOOOO much and for the blessing you have been in our lives. It means so much to us that you want to be a part of our journey in starting a family. The encouraging words are so uplifting and I am so grateful for all my prayerful friends and family members who keep us in their prayers. Thank you for investing in our lives!!
When we found out we would have to have in vitro to have babies I was totally freaked out. I had only thought about how many children I would want or how many years we’d wait to start trying when I dreamt (or planned) about my future with my husband and having a family. I never thought getting pregnant would be a problem so I didn’t think of what we’d do if we weren’t able to get pregnant on our own. Geez looking back I sure did waste a lot of money on birth control ;)
I had a hard time at first with the idea of in vitro. I felt like I wouldn’t be relying on God and that I was taking matters into my own hands and using science to start my family. When we found out how much it cost I was a little relieved that I would have some time while we were saving up money to digest the fact that we couldn’t get pregnant on our own and I could get more comfortable with choosing to have in vitro. So I started this blog because I had no idea what I would be going thru and I wanted to connect with others who are in similar situations and I just needed support from my friends and family. Which you all have done a beautiful job of!!
Well, I was very wrong about thinking if I had in vitro I wouldn’t be relying on God to provide me with a family. This experience has made me put all my trust in God and rely on him more than ever. He has brought so many people into my life that are going through similar situations and we joined a Sunday school class that surprisingly has many young married couples who struggled with fertility issues too. God has shown that he is in control by continually growing our baby fund in a time when most are struggling with the bad economy. I’ve also learned a lot about my body that will enable me to have a healthy pregnancy that I wouldn’t have know if Tim and I were just trying on our own.
Because of Tim’s genetic mutation the doctors wanted to do a genetic test on me to make sure I wasn’t a carrier of cystic fibrosis like Tim. Well, the good news is I am not a carrier of CF, but they did find out that I have a genetic mutation called Factor V Leiden. Yes, I am a mutant, but I don’t have any cool super human powers. This mutation causes me to have blood clots and pregnancy increases the tendency. Now that they know that I have this mutation I can take shots to thin out my blood during pregnancy to prevent me from having a miscarriage and help me stay healthy during my pregnancy.
I hope that once I start the process of in vitro I can use my blog to describe the process so if someone else finds out they are going to need in vitro they can have some idea of what that will entail. Honestly, I was clueless what all the steps were to this process, I just thought the doctors would shoot some sperm up me with a turkey baster ;)
Hope this can be helpful to someone and thanks again for following along!!

2010 is the Year for Babies, Baby ;)

A month has passed since our New Years goal of hitting the baby fund full force and saving like crazy. I have to be honest, I was a little nervous that I would be eating my words after enduring a hard month financially in January. I’m so grateful that when I can’t comprehend in my lil mind how we were going to cut back even more to put aside for our baby fund, God already had a plan. Tim and I are beaming from ear to ear because we are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO close to having all of our baby money saved up! We are 2/3 of the way there! I know a lot of people cringe at the idea that they need to be getting ready to file their taxes, but Praise God that he used this tax season to bless our household!
Now that we have saved up a majority of the money needed to have in vitro, we are making appointments to meet with our reproductive biologist to get more educated on the process. Hopefully they will be able to schedule an appointment in April. Usually you have to book an appointment three months out, so we’ve already started calling to try and get our appointment.
Even with an explanation from the doctors of the step by step process I get a clearer picture when I talk to people who have actually been through the procedure themselves. I am grateful to have a cousin in law who has gone through in vitro and has been so supportive and open to share her story with me. I also had a friend at church who introduced me to her close friend that had in vitro, so I will have someone else to relate to. I look forward to meeting with our doctor to learn more in depth about in vitro and what that entails for me and my body, but also to make the idea of getting pregnant seem more of a reality that is in the near future instead of a far off goal.
God is so good, He is GOOD INDEED!!

New Year = New dedication!!

Well, its been about five months since Tim and I have learned that we will need in vetro to have a baby. We are so amazed at how much we can save when we have so much passion behind what we are saving for. We are about a quarter of the way to our goal, so this New Year we have made a resolution to have new drive, focus and intensity to saving like we have never saved before! I know God is working for our good and we will have our baby in his timing, but i also know we have a HUGE God who is fully capable of performing miracles and blessing us when we just ask. So I'd like to just go ahead and proclaim that we will start our family this year and praise God for that blessing!! I also pray that our friends and family who have set personal goals will have the motivation and dedication to achieve all they have set out to reach and may God bless you to accomplish all you've set out to do! Have a prosperous New Year!!