LITERS

Here's my fluid filled belly, looks like im 5 months preggo! It really is sooo much bigger in person than in this picture too! Sad to say that this picture makes me look skinny compared to what I look like in person! And dont you love all the bruises on my belly :)


Yesterday the doctor decided to go ahead and send me down to the radiologist to get drained. They wanted to wait for me to make a turn for the better before they did the procedure, but it was getting so bad they went ahead and did it. Not a fun procedure, they use an ultra sound to find where they can insert a large thick needle into a fluid pocket in my abdomen. Once they do that they put a catheter (like a straw) into the whole and attach it to a vacuum like machine and it sucks the fluid out. They did use a needle with local anesthesia to numb the skin (that needle hurt so bad) but it doesn't numb completely because they go so deep into you that I could definitely feel when they broke through the fluid pocket.
Having the procedure was worth all the pain because they drained out 3 & 1/2 LITERS, yes people LITERS of fluid! All that fluid was in my belly! It gave me instant relief and pressure off my belly and lungs. It was the color of sweet tea, I wanted to keep it and use it to cook with. Then when I have people over for dinner and they say yum this chicken tastes so good what did you use, I could tell them I marinated it in my own abdominal fluid..... enjoy ;)
The first thing I wanted to do was EAT! I was so hungry that I tore up my plate of nasty hospital food like it was the best thing I've ever had :) I had about 4-5 hours of relief and comfort yesterday, but since they went ahead and did the draining while I was still getting worse the fluid came back.
My doctor came in this morning and measured me and did some blood work and desided I needed to be drained one more time. As much as I hate to have to do the draining again cause it hurt so much, I know it will make me feel so much better. He's waiting for me to start peeing more (a sign that my body will start getting rid of the fluid on its own)then he will schedule another procedure later today.
I really have been able to keep a positive attitude since I've been here (mainly because of the thought of the lil baby in me) but the nurses and doctors have been so sweet to me and taken such good care of me. I just pray this fun lil stay is covered by our insurance!!
Please pray for me to keep a positive joyful attitude and for me to be able to endure the physical pain this is causing me. It can be hard to not let my mind wonder into a pitty party when my body hurts so bad. I know God won't put me through more than I can handle so I know I'll be fine :) Thanks for all the concern and prayer! Love and blessings!

Watermelon Belly

Timbo's mom and dad have a cabin up in Blue Ridge and were so sweet to let Tim and I go up over the weekend for some R&R after the crazy week at the doctors. Unfortunately there wasn't a whole lot of resting and relaxing for me. I started getting very sharp pains in my stomach and I was having a hard time eating because my belly felt so full and bloated. I had a hard time sleeping because when I laid down I wasn't able to breath because the fluid would move up to my diaphragm and push on my lungs. I got up very early Saturday in pain and went to the bathroom and things took a turn for the worse. I was throwing up and blacking out and was so scared that I think I was causing my self to have a panic attack. It was like my body was in so much pain I couldn't function. I yelled to Tim (poor thing was sound asleep) and said "call an ambulance, get me off this mountain I'm dying!" I know I was very dramatic, but I was in freak out mode.
Tim was so calm and handled it very well. He put me on the bed and was helping me calm down by making me take big breaths in and out. Then he gathered up all our stuff and put it in the car and we headed for Emory. Should have been a two and a half hour drive, but I told Tim to step on it and we made it in an hour and a half.
Once at Emory, my doctor did and ultra sound and saw that the fluid was starting to spread to my liver. I had gained another 4 pounds and my blood was very dehydrated because all the fluid from my blood stream was going out to my abdomen. They put me up in a room in the hospital and hooked me up to an IV. My veins were so dehydrated they had to stick me four times before they could get a vein to take. The plan was to keep me over night and get fluid back in my blood stream and drain me in the morning. This morning they weighed me and I gained another 7 pounds, yes over night! So now they are waiting for me to show signs that I'm turning for the better before they drain me because they said if they do it now it will just come back.
I'm just chillin in my room now waiting for the doctors to give me the go ahead. Tim left for work but he brought me the lap top to entertain me. They aren't letting me eat or drink either and all I can think about is eating a Flow's Fila.
Thank God for the positive side of all this. I believe severe OHSS only happens in like 3 to 8% of IVF patients, but the doctor said the only cases he's ever had of women like me all ended up being preggers. That is really helping me deal with the pain :) So I'll just sit here in bed rubbing on my big watermelon belly like I got a baby in there!

Growing bigger!

Spent the day at the doctors again yesterday. I have OHSS and my ovaries are filled with fluid and its spilling out into my abdomen, so I have a very large belly! The good news was my progesterone levels were great. They better be after the torturous shots I've been taking in the butt :) Since I have a genetic disorder that makes me more prone to blood clots and now having OHSS puts me at more risk for a blood clot the doctors wanted to be extra cautious and by putting me on a blood thinner. I should only have to take if for two weeks, thats how long they think it will take for the OHSS to go away and by that time I'll know if I'm pregnant. I think we should just go ahead and proclaim it and thank Jesus for letting me be preggers!! So thank you God for the miracle you've done in me by creating this/these lil baby/ies

Bloated

I spent yesterday at the hospital because my belly is misbehaving. I’m retaining fluid in my ovaries and my belly is HUGE!! No joke, I look like I’m five months pregnant. The doctor said I have a mild case of OHSS and they are keeping me on close watch. They are trying to get my body to flush itself so I won’t have to be drained. Not only do I look like a cow, but I feel like a hot mess; all the pressure on my belly really hurts. I have to drink a lot of Gatorade to flush my body, but when I feel bloated and full the last thing I wanna do is fill up more with liquid. I also have to measure my pee. It’s funny cause I have to pee into this thing that fits on my toilet seat to measure the volume then I pour it in the toilet. I’m also measuring my belly and my weight. I have to log everything and I got to the doctor on Wednesday to see if it got worse and to measure my progesterone levels. I think the bloating is a side effect of the progesterone shots only six more weeks of those, so I guess it will be awhile till I feel normal. This is very difficult for me because I’m used to being healthy and active and it’s just very frustrating for me.

Beautiful embryos!!

I just got home from the transfer. This morning I was very emotional and I cried the entire ride to the hospital. I think it was a mix of nerves and excitement and just a cry out to God to let this work. I have such a desire to be a mother and it's not to fill some kind of void in my life, to make me feel happy or to make me complete and I don't want to have a baby so I feel like I fit in with other people my age. I want to be a Mom because God put that desire in my heart. I want to raise my babies to know Jesus and to be in love with him and grow up to be good and faithful servants.
This process has seemed so surreal and unnatural until today when the doctor came in and told us with a big smile that we had beautiful embryos. Then she showed us a picture of them and it felt like I was looking at my babies!! It was a very emotional experience and it just made it seem so real, it's finally here!
The transfer went really well and they had to do assisted hatching to make sure the embryos stick. The embryologist said the wall on the embryos was very thick so they really recommended that we do the assisted hatching. I figure we've come this far why wouldn't we do everything we needed to do to make this work, even if it did cost more money.
Tim got to put on scrubs and be in the room during the transfer and we got to watch the whole thing on the ultra sound. The doctor said the catheter went in so smoothly and the eggs released perfectly. I felt so at peace during the procedure and I know it was because I truly felt all the prayers of our friends and family! I'm being so sincere when I say thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers! It has really touched me to get all the phone calls, emails, texts, comments and personal visits from people praying for me. I really feel Gods hands all over this and I'm so positive about the outcome. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
Now it's time to nap! Got to be on bed rest for a lil bit, but dont worry Timmy went to get me some movies. He's taking good care of me.

Here are a couple pictures from our big day! This one is of our Beautiful baby embryos.


This one is of the transfer. That is a picture of my uterous and if you look close you can see a white horizontal line, thats the catheter implanting the embryos.



This is Dr Greene in his scrubs



Me waiting to get er done!

Im like a chicken layin some eggs.....

This morning was my egg retrieval at Emory. I'm thankful that I was put to sleep for this procedure so I didn't have to feel anything. They say they give you enough anesthesia to heavily sedate you but you're still alert and can breath on your own and be responsive, but not me I passed out :) So the nurse is with me the whole time telling me to breathe because the medicine makes you so lazy you forget to breathe on your own and she put an oxygen mask on me because I fell asleep. The procedure took about an hour and then it took me another hour to wake up, I guess I was very tired! Tim drove me home and then he had to leave for Kentucky for a business meeting. I miss you already Timbo! I just slept on the couch all day until my parents came over after work to keep me company. Also I had to start taking my progesterone shots tonight and I needed someone to give them to me since Tim wasn't here. My Dad was brave enough to do it. The nurse had given me a "how to video" that I showed my parents so they would know how to give me the shot. Dad took the job very seriously, it was so cute! Here's a video my Mom took, I thought it would be cool to give everyone an inside look of what IVF is like. Oh and a lil side note: please ignore my big belly the retrieval procedure and the shots im taking make me look like im already 6 month pregnant!!Enjoy!

My lil nurse

I have to say Tim makes quite the nurse. Tim even dressed up in a lil nurses outfit to put me at ease ;) The butt shot wasnt so bad, but I do have a high tolerance for pain. It was more of the anticipation of Tim standing behind me about to give me a shot and not being able to see him that scared me. Tomorrow my eggs will be ripe for the pickin and I go in for my retrieval at 8 then Timbo leaves for his meeting in Kentucky. Have to give my hubby props for getting a big new account! Thanks for working so hard to take care of me babe!! Praying for your safe travel!

Ovulate..... Celebrate (sung in the tune of madona's holiday song)

My doctors appointment went really well today! The nurse said so far I have five leads. That means there are 5 follicles that measure over 15mm and the ones that measure over 15mm have an 80% to 90% chance of having an egg. They said there will probably be more by time I do the retrieval which is on Wednesday!! Now to help me ovulate Tim's gotta give it to me in the butt..... a shot that is ;) Tonight at exactly 10 o'clock Timbo's gotta give me my HCG which will make me have the big O...... you have such a dirty mind, Im talking about Ovulation. This shot guarantees ovulation in 48 hours, so thats why my retrieval is scheduled for Wednesday morning. Then I will either have the transfer Friday or Saturday. So excited but a lil nervous too! Can't believe this is our baby making week, praise Jesus!

God answers the simple prayers

I got to start my Saturday off right by going to the doctor :) On my way to Emory I have a lot of time in the car to pray and today I had a lil request for God that seemed silly to ask for. Do you ever think "I shouldn't ask God for this because it's such a silly thing to pray for, I'm sure this isn't important to God?" Well, I think that if there is something that concerns me enough to pray about it then God is even more concerned about it.
When I go to Emory there is usually a different nurse or doctor working every day which means I always get a different person doing my ultra sound. When ever they have a male doctor doing the exam they always have another person in the room. I guess this is to make me feel more comfortable because there is another person there to make sure no monkey business is going on. But when its a female nurse there doesn't have to be another person in the room so that's what I'm always praying for. A couple times I've been, there have been two male doctors in the room to do my crotch pictures. I assure you I don't feel more comfortable having two doctors in the room to take pictures of my ovaries.
This morning on my car ride when I prayed I was like "God, I've been going in to do these ultra sounds every day this week and I need you to help me keep a joyful attitude about it and it would really help if I had a female nurse do my ultra sound today." I kinda felt silly to pray for something like that, but I think God isn't to busy to help with the small things. So grateful to say he answered my prayer ;)

Getting to were I need to be

The nurse just called to give me the results of my doctor’s appointment this morning. Yesterday when she told me my levels were low I didn’t really ask what that meant I just upped my units to 200 on my follistim shot. Well, today when she called to tell me my estradiol level was still low I made sure I knew what she was talking about. I am in day 5 of my stimulation cycle and they are trying to get as many of my follicles as they can to measure 15mm or more. They want to be able to retrieve 8 to 15 eggs on Tuesday to have the best chance of getting the eggs to fertilize. Because I’m not progressing the way I should be they are upping my follistim medication again to 250 units and adding another shot to take at night called Luvaris and I will start taking that shot tomorrow. For those of yous out there following along would you please pray that my body will be where it needs to be next Tuesday for the egg retrieval? I truly appreciate all the prayers!!

Quick like a bunny

All week long it's ultra sounds and blood work for me. Yesterday the nurse called with my numbers. I don't have a clue what they mean, but apparently they were low so they upped my units on my pm shot. I had to go back in this morning for more blood work and an ultra sound. Since I've had to saddle up so many times for these doctors, I found the trick to getting in and out quickly. They tell me to undress from the waste down so I always wear a dress. Slide of my under britches, hike my dress up, put their lil paper towel around my waste, feet in the stir ups, yadda yadda yadda and Im outta there! Quick like a bunny ;)

Hormonal Mess

I’ll start this blog out with good news and then I’ll share with you (not complain just explain) what I’ve been going through. Ok, the good news… Timbo is all healed up from his surgery!! He’s feeling back to normal and even cut our grass on Thursday. Thanks for all your prayers for Tim, they worked and he healed up quickly.
Now, I’ll just take a moment to share what’s going on in my life. Last week I added another shot to my daily medication. This shot looks like a pen and I take it in the evening. The morning shot I take altered my mood a little and I felt some side effects. I thought I was handling the medication well until I started taking the follistim pen. Love the side effects of this one! I wake up in the morning thinking “oh my fart, how much did I drink last night I feel like I got hit by a bus….. wait a minute I didn’t have anything to drink it’s just the lovely side effects of my medicine!” The weekends are rough because I have to still get up at 6:30 to take my morning shot and getting up that early, with a massive head ache, to stick a needle in me doesn’t leave me in the best mood for the rest of the day.
Sunday at church I would love to say I had an amazing spiritual moment and it brought me to tears, but there was nothing spiritual about these tears. I started bawling, like hard core uncontrollable can’t hold back the tears ugly face making crying! I had to get up and go to the bathroom and give myself a pep talk. It feels so weird to cry that hard for no reason and a couple minutes later be completely normal again.
This morning I went in for more blood work, I’m starting to feel like a pen cushion. This week I’ll be going in about every other day for ultra sounds and blood work. The doctor has to keep a close eye on my body now to make sure it’s where it needs to be. We are schedule to do our retrieval next Tuesday!! I really can’t complain about the process I’m going through because it just amazes me that we are able to make a baby this way and it really is flying by. I can’t believe we are eight days away from the retrieval.